Quite right to be wary - I hope that scam did not cost you anything and so add to your problems. I will e-mail you at the address given and we will see what we can do to help.

Hi

I have an email address which I don't really use much so I can put that on here without it affecting anything I do I am only very wary as I was recently scammed by a Nigerian claiming to be english. Thanks

Jackie

Note: This post has been moderated. Please read the moneysupermarket.com Community Standards and Terms of Service. Cheers.

alfiebella or Wrinkly

A reminder about email details not being allowed on the open forum. For more details about adding your email to your profile, click here.

With respect, you equally can post your e-mail for me to contact. I cannot help everyone and am concerned that I will get a flood of e-mails from anyone in difficulties. I am not sure what damage posting your e-mail for all to read could do. You may get other offers of help from people who would not want to offer it to the world. If not, sorry I cannot help you but I will keep an eye out for further messages from you in case you think of a way that suits you. Good luck!

Hi

Unfortunately I haven't been able to get to or in contact with a CAB down here the phone lines are constantly engaged that was why I turned to CCCS who were going to sort things out for me but now I have lost child benefit and child tax credits I don't have enough income and cannot even raise that as I am disabled and on income support. How about if you give your email address or an email address just to contact me then I will talk via that.

Jackie

How about giving me the address of the CAB you are in contact with? I could write to you care of them and you could not only pick-up the letter but get them to confirm my bona-fides?

hi

Like you say I don't know how to contact off line of this site as I don't want to give details out as everyone can read them I am not keeping my address secret but putting it on here I think everyone and his dog can read it. I am getting to the stage I haven't got a clue which way to turn now as I now don't have enough income to pay off any debts so CCCS can no longer help me I have lost all my kids and have to try and find a way to move on somehow.How do you move on from being nothing but a mother for 25 years and being in debt because of your kids who will pay off what they owe there father but all i get is threats and told they owe me nothing believe me they were not brought up that way so that makes it even harder.

Jackie

Would really like to offer practical help but cannot see any way of contacting you if it means giving my personal contact details to all. I fully understand you do not want to show yours as you are keeping your address secret. Perhaps you could post an address of a friend or contact who would be prepared to forward a letter from me? I promise you it would be worthwhile.

Hi Paul

I will tell CCCS the change in my circumstances and see what they propose then they may take a small amount off of the cost of living with clothing etc I will give them the details and see what they come up with. As regards my family I have already said if my son comes and forces the door then I will have him arrested he has too much of a volatile temper that he needs to learn to cope. It is difficult but I cannot sit in my own flat dreading him coming and kicking the door in.

i am taking the psychiatrists advice and will try and make a new social network as at the moment I only have one friend who is like a sister to me I had tried to call her last friday and I know she would have told me to come and stay at hers or she would have come here it was just the build up of everything that made me do what I did. Luckily she understands what made me do it. I have an interview at college on Friday and am looking at trying an access course if I feel it is appropriate for me I have tried previously but the classrooms have been on the third floor and no lift and with my knees it was tough and I couldn't cope. The ironic thing was that the Adult learning centre is on the ground floor in its own block but it is used for foreign students.

So I am looking at positive things to do with my life I am not going to sit and wait for my daughter to come back which is basically what I have been doing just staying in cutting myself off from everything and just waiting in hope that she will come back. After yesterday I realise she is not coming back I have to move on and learn a new life which is tough when all you have done for 21 years is be mum and I am being made to be the baddie.

My mind is a little calmer now as I know where I stand so today is the first day of a new life for me.

Thankyou for bothering to stay in touch it is appreciated.

Jackie

OK Jackie,

Financial situation with the benefits may get worse yes if you don't tell CCCS =problem if you tell them they will reajust the payments available just tell them! not so much of a problem!

Next emotions are running high and as I said earlier you may have to just keep away and however much it pains you you don't deserve any violence or damage to your house, people yes the Police will help.I know you won't want to go down that route but it's there. Keep in touch with your friends on that website, talk, walk, get out of the house have some 'me time' once you see another prospective on this merrygoround of life you will see that life is worth the hassle. My diary is full of woes and if anyone read it they'll be might bored but by recording your feelings you may find a way of coping with the situation.

Goodnight now, back to the grind tomorrow but my thoughts are with you!

Paul

Hi Paul

Thankyou for responding yet again. In some ways the money is imaterial now I seem to have lost all of my children as they have all taken the side of there father as he is the one to get them involved. My youngest son has threatened to come to my flat and break the door down and take everything I have all because I went to the marital home which is still half mine even with negative equity I went there to see my daughter face to face and just let myself in for just more upset she has now said she never wants to speak to me again or see me because I am boring possibly because she knows I have no money anymore and everyone (her brothers, her father and the two dogs) are all at the house.

So I now have to be very strong and try somehow to move on which is easier said than done. I am not sure whether there will be any spare money to pay my debts as I will lose child tax credit and child benefit which amounts to approx£277 per month which is more than I was going to have to pay out to clear the debts. I know there will only me to feed but other than that all the bills will still be the same i will check with CCCS tomorrow and see.

As you say tomorrows another day. So I will move on and see what happens tomorrow.

Regards

Jackie

Well jackie so much for this Bank Holiday!

There's a song 'Money can't buy you love' oh so true and you haven't got any I guess so what's this idiot going on about!

Well if you can get a grip on your debts with the help of the CCCS money in time will become available for perhaps an occassional treat or even the 'feel good factor' of not having to panic everytime a letter drops on the mat.

The hardest thing was to put your concerns on here so I can only ask you earnestly to follow their plan and as I've said before.

I can't see you or feel whats inside your heart but by sticking in and clearing the debt you will show to yourself and others your guts and attitude, that you won't simply go 'belly up' Being alone is different to be lonely if you can, and I know it will take time, show to your daughter how strong you are by tackling these debts, stick with your GP- your relationship will improve over time. Now massive virtual hugs! tomorrows another day.

Still here,

Paul

Hi Paul

Unfortunately things haven't gone well so far as I have had a lot of upset as I haven't seen or heard from my 15 year old daughter since before the summer holidays she is supposed to be living with me but she has chosen to live with her father and isn't speaking to me at all so with that and all the money worries I felt I had no way to turn so attempted suicide by taking an overdose of medication. I have had no life this year with one thing and another and losing my daughter seems to be the hardest thing I have to redo the finances because I cannot claim benefit if she is not here i have left it in the hope that she will come back but at the moment she is determined not to I don't live in the marital home so my ex has everything he has the three kids 2 of which are adults he has the house the dogs and now a new lady friend who was the first person i met when moving down here and she was delivering chinese to me a few weeks ago my ex knows the family as well and the chinese is opposite the marital home and it turns out he's been seeing her which I don't mind about that but my daughter and ex have all been going out with her 15 year old son (there's the attraction) delivering chinese and she has taken over my role as mum. I now have to rethink my life and try and put myself first instead of last but when you have been mum for nearly a quarter of a century it's very hard and to go from having a great relationship with my daughter to having nothing it's hard. I am back in the situation where I haven't got a clue what to do or how to move on or anything at the moment.

Hope your weekend is better

Regards

Jackie

Hi again Jackie!,

Hope things have started well for you with you CCCS plan and you are able to relax this bank Holiday weekend!

Regards,

Paul

Hi Paul

Once again thanks for all your help and seeing me through this it is appreciated. I actually live in Bournemouth now moved here with my parents nearly 30 years ago but I originate from Leicester and my eldest son supports Leicester city my dad has been many times to see the Tigers play rugby.

someone has to come from there LOl

Take care and thanks

Jackie