Just thought I'd update, my faith in human nature has been restored!!

I contacted the 3rd party to request that we resolve outside of insurers if possible, due to the amount of my excess, and they replied to say they were booking the car into the garage to check for damage. Well they emailed again yesterday to say NO damage (how honest!) and that they wouldn't be pursuing the matter any further :-)

Many thanks for the advice. My NCD is protected but I'm very sceptical of insurance companies - I don't believe that premiums don't go up (I had a claim under protection for an accident that wasn't even my fault and my premiums still went up the next year for the same car).

Anyway, I have tried to call them but no reply, so I've sent them an email requesting them to contact me to discuss 'the incident' (I know the rule about me going into them, but also know that even if you know you are at fault, your own insurers don't take kindly to admitting it to a 3rd party - all to do with 'mitigating' their loss!!) Therefore I've not admitted or denied anything that way, merely requested that I would like to resolve it outside of insurers if at all possible due to my excess amount. Like you say, I'm hoping that they have calmed down now and are prepared to discuss it reasonably. However, at the end of the day if they want to get awkward and claim for excessive damage that didn't occur (stupidly, I didn't get a photo, was too distressed myself at the time to think straight) I will just have to go through insurers.

This raises a 2nd query though - if at a later date, say a week or so afterwards, I have to approach my insurers (or their insurance co goes direct); will I be penalised for not reporting it to mine sooner?

If you have protected NCD then that's not the issue, surely - as you won't be penalised at renewal. And, sadly, 'written proof' hardly comes into it as it's generally accepted that if you run into the back of someone, it's your fault!

Can you get a phone number from the details you have?

I'd contact them and ask that in the first instance they let you know what the cost of repair is as you'd like the option of settling privately 'rather than risk my no-claims bonus' - they're not to know it's protected.
If it's significantly below the £200-mark then ok (or as ok as the circs allow) but it's amazing how between a tiny incident like this and the bodywork repair shop a scuff becomes a handy rebuild of the back end. Then again if you're really lucky and they've calmed down sufficiently, they may not want a repair - so it's worth contacting them on that count.

Sybil

I had a minor knock this weekend where I went into the back of a stationary vehicle (at a roundabout, I thought they were going but they didn't!). The damage to both cars was (apparently) minimal - my number plate cracked and a scuffing to the rear bumper of their car. I therefore won't be claiming thru insurance for my car as my £200+ excess is not worth it. I exchanged details with the 3rd party who were (understandably) angry at the time, but now I want to approach them to ask that we settle mutually rather than through insurance. Is it wise for me to contact them (which would provide written proof of me accepting fault) or should I wait to see if they contact my insurer through theirs (and thus risk dmaging my protected no-claims discount?).