Customer: I'd like to be ripped off mercilessly - what's the best way to do this?
Shop: Certainly, here is a deal using something called "cashback" where you send in your bills, your credit card information, a copy of your birth certificate (translated into three languages) and proof of age. When you send this to us, we'll totally ignore it, but we may post it to any SPAM-generator of our choice.
Customer: So how is this ripping me off then?
Shop: Ah, we'll promise to pay you back some of your monthly bills every quarter provided you send in the information we ask. For this we will charge you a small premium (say £350 for a Nokia 6210) on a 25 year contract.
Customer: Sounds like a good deal. Where do I sign?
Shop: [hands over contract the size of War and Peace] Just sign here [points to the bottom of each page] and we'll get your phone out to you in the next postal strike.
Customer: [Eyes look lovingly at assistant] Thanks - this is the best deal I have had, when do I get my number?
Shop: We'll send that out with the handset.
Three months later - on the MoneySupermarket forum ...
Customer: Just been ripped off by [any high street phone reseller] and not received my cashback. What do I do, I cannot feed my children and my mortgage is due?
Landshark: Oh no, not again ...
MS FORUM PEOPLE: Always good for a laugh ...
SHARK! Productions Inc.